Sunday, September 2, 2012

Turning 50 - Turning 17

You may have come to believe by reading my blog that my entire life is one big party...

Truth is, I try to think of life as a party, punctuated perhaps by bits of work and other tasks that I prefer to not write about (Laundry...which is piling up as I write comes to mind).

To paraphrase a college professor who told us that the secret to his happiness was based on this premise: In life, there's 1/3 of what you do that you love, 1/3 that you really prefer to not do, and 1/3 that is in the middle. The trick to a successful and happy life, is to make the 1/3 in the middle, part of what you love, and not what you just endure. He was talking about work, but I think it applies to life in general as well.

It took me a pretty long time to figure out how to put those words into action. Some of it has happened out of sheer luck (I met Walter at just the right time. I ended up working at the same school as Betty, and thus ended up hanging out with some pretty fabulous women); some of it through work (I am starting my 23 year in teaching, working in profession that I just love...but some of that was luck too); and some of it through design (Over the years, I've tried to train myself to see life as a series of blessings).

Which brings me back to the Hefferblog... I keep it going because it makes me happy, and also because through the Hefferblog, I've been really able to see how much of  my life is truly amazing. I think that before the blog (BB), I probably too often wallowed in a bit of self-pity (Oh poor me.... I'm fat... I'm ugly... I don't have this or that). What a sucky way to go through life...

The blog and running are probably the best things I ever did for myself.

I have no idea how to transition out of those musings into the things that actually make up the title of this particular entry...So I'll just switch gears.

Last month I turned 50. Today DramaGirl turned 17.

Wow. Just. Wow.

I'm not sure which has me more wigged out...me turning another decade, or my daughter sitting on the precipice of adulthood.

I so want her to already know the life lessons it's taken me years to learn... that it is important to believe in yourself yes, but it's more important to like yourself. That it's important to have friends, but it's essential to be friends with people who genuinely like you for you, not because you have a pool and a full refrigerator.

These are tough lessons to learn in life. Most of them I didn't learn until I was far older than 17.

I am ever so grateful I know them now.

Again...in search of a fluid transition, but none seems forthcoming...so for the herd, a series of one-liners from my birthday weekend celebration. Thank you to all of you who came to surprise me. You are my bestest friends and I love all of you. I know I sent this to all of you, but since emails get lost or eventually deleted, and somehow this blog seems so much more permanent, I'm reposting here...plus this one has photos!

Here's to a weekend of surprises!
  • "You have five minutes to pack" (it took me 20)
  • After run omelet at Elsie's casa (Geez that seems like a long time ago!)
  • Packing the car for an overnight and wondering why Mik, Elsie, and Betty brought so much wine!
  • Are you taking me to the Wild Animal Park?
  • "The tasting room closes at 2:00 for grape stomping."
  • Mik's limerick for me. Absolutely fabulous!
  • Taking a wrong turn at Valley View Casino, and then a correct turn at Harrah's Rincon (still having no idea why we were there). I actually thought it might be a pit-stop and we were going to put a bet on black at a roulette table. Udderly Surprised!
  • "Do you know why we are here yet?" 
  • The voice in the elevator
  • Watching "The boys in the band" and The Cougars play... what a show!
  • Wig girl putting a choke hold on a 9-year old, and mama bear's growl.
  • Betty's Three 7's
  • Dancing by the fire
  • "Look, I have a big wad"
  • Texting Lazz that Mik couldn't fight that feeling anymore, and that she was with the band.
  • "He was all speed and no wagon"
  • Picking out Momma's birthday card (kitten in a tiara or a smoking iguana...which is better?)
  • Waking up at 6:30am to ride.
  • 30 miles on Del Dios Highway - and the way back being much easier than any of us thought it would be.
  • "Someone is kicking my chair!" 
  • Our waitress Sandra chatting it up with Betty. Sandra telling us to hide our wine so that her boss wouldn't catch us!
  • Looking up and seeing Clarence walking toward me (oh, are you and Jeff staying here too? I'm so dense sometimes!)
  • Blueberry Mojitos
  • Rearranging pool deck furniture
  • Mona, Alberta, and Daisy arrive!!!
  • Working a deal with the housekeeper
  • As I live and breathe...It's Judy "effing" Kirk, Wilma and Momma!
  • Sitting on the pool deck and enjoying the view.
  • Classic Mona
  • "Hit Me!"
  • Fried pickles
  • Tater tots
  • Shirley Temples
  • Primping in the ladies room
  • Video of Judy taking pix with the iPhone
  • Snuggling with Betty & Mona
  • Mona shoving a boda bag down her shorts (sorta like a freedom flask)
  • Nicest porta potty I've ever been in
  • Rushing the stage. Ignoring ex-student security guards. (You have to sit down...uh yeah...we will)
  • Take Off Your Shirt! Take Off Your Shirt! (and then Rick Springfield did!)
  • Dr. Noah Drake walking down our empty seats (someone has to send me a photo of this)
  • "My husband likes it when you bounce"
  • Take it on the run baby
  • Dancing with male-Elaine
  • Rushing the stage for the REO Speedwagon Finale
  • Getting bonked in the head with a pick and Mona diving under the chairs to get it for me (I didn't lose it!)
And so much more... 

As for DramaGirl? Happy Birthday baby... I wish for you that you eventually have the best friends in the world. It took me a long time to find my herd, but it was worth the wait. Hang in there Sweetie. You'll find yours too because you are fabulous and wonderful and very, very, very worth it!

8 comments:

  1. Oh wow. I love this post. It's all bursting off the page here - your life lessons, your love for DramaGirl but mostly your LOVE of it all - for life. And girl - you make 50 look amazing!

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  2. Happy-Happy-Happy 50th Cindi!!!! Welcome to the "club"!
    I'm thrilled to have to "knowledge" that comes with the years-I've had the same friends from middle school and we still act as though we are in middle school!
    REO.....love 'em. We're seeing Styx (for like the gazillionth time) at the end of October and we do the same-by the time the first song is over, we're up at the front of the stage.
    I seen the words; "tator tots" in there-you and I would get along just fine!
    My 17yo leaves for his junior year tomorrow in his own car....this will be worse than his first day leaving on the bus for kindergarten....for me that is!
    Happy Birthday to DramaGirl....17!

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  3. What a great blog to read first thing in the morning! I was very careful timing my bites of granola and only dribbled a little bit. Except once. "All speed and no wagon." At least none landed on the computer. Happy birthday and all.

    Oh, and laundry likes to be piled up. That's what makes it happy.

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  4. Your entire life is one big party.

    Truth.

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  5. Okay. Now I'm homesick. I spend a lot of my weekends in that part of the county for my poker fix. Instead, I'm stuck on the East Coast this weekend. Blech.

    As far as your daughter - trust yourself. A carpenter doesn't build a house until he's been able to practice, even with the best tools. You and Walter have given her the tools, now let her build the house. Sure, she may hit her thumb with a hammer, but isn't that how people learn? At least she's way ahead of most because she knows what a hammer is used for!

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  6. YOU are a great friend, mom, daughter, sister, wife n teacher. Looking forward to bugging you for the next 50.

    PS- You have a wonderful family!

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  7. Sounds like you celebrated 50 in true Heffer style. Belated birthday wishes. And may the second half of the century be good to you.

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  8. I think that it is great advise to live 2/3 of your life of things that you enjoy and make more interesting.

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