Monday, January 24, 2011


Over the years, we've all had lots of...oh shall we say...conversations of the "personal" nature with fellow runners...and especially through our blogs.
  • We happily discuss the trials and tribulations of our intestinal tract and running with complete and total strangers.
  • We boast about being able to shoot snot rockets with enough force so as to clear the running path and NOT spray fellow runners OR
  • We fret about not being able to shoot snot rockets with enough force...
  • We acknowledge that, when a porta potty, or other public restroom is not available, we will willing go "anywhere" if the need is great enough;
  • We admit that when a public restroom doesn't have any toilet paper, there are acceptable alternatives;
  • We share the optimal places where one really should put GLIDE so as to avoid chafing.
I'm pretty sure, I've blogged about almost all of these topics in the last three years.

A few weeks ago, Mik's mother contacted, Betty, and Elsie and me a couple of weeks ago and asked us to join her at a surprise birthday dinner for Mik.  We, of course, accepted the invite.

.Mik's mom went all out with the decorations. 
All I had was my iPhone camera...but there was a definite cow theme...
Mik's  mom also had some Lilja's HeiferWeisen posters for us...she had them specially shipped from WISCONSIN! because, apparently you can't get HeiferWeisen here. Mom went to quite the effort to get the posters for us... An effort which involved calling the owner of the brewery, AND explaining the Hefferblog, (I have NO idea how she did THAT)...
And apparently Mik's mom can be very persuasive, because the owner even figured out a way to send us some actual BEER... which we didn't drink that night, but we will at some point, yes we will...
Any of you had this beer before? We love the cows!
And cow balloons
And the cow napkins...
Anyway, given our proclivity to discuss JUST ABOUT ANYTHING, it won't surprise any of you to know that during Mik's birthday last week, the pinnacle of the dinner conversation was...


Betty: Why do women wax to get rid of unwanted hair?
Alice: Yeah...and why do men not wax? Anything? Even when they need to?
Mik: As we grown older, why does hair start growing in places that we really don't want?
Betty: Like my chin, for example...

For answers to all questions that require some knowledge of science, we turn to ex-biology teacher and resident phone-a-friend, Elsie, who gave us a rather thorough on the biology of hair growth which involves something about cell division.

Elsie saying something like: "are you following me here girls. This cell division talk I'm giving is really, super important STUFF!"
Alice: So...why do the hair cells keep dividing even once I've plucked them out, but
Elsie: That's because you hadn't gotten all of it, and to do so, you need something like a laser
All: oooooohhhhhhhhhh!

(Dramatic pause...then)

Betty: So... years ago, my husband was not growing hair out of his nose and ears. Why have the cells from his widow's peak migrated to his nose and ears?

Elsie: (in an email the following day, explained it to all of us) Yucky fast growing facial hair in women — hirsutism to get techinical, — affects more than 20 million Americans and is a pain! The hair usually grows on the upper lip or chin and you are lucky if it's not also on the cheeks, chest, tummy or back. Facial hair is more visible in women with dark hair (that would be you….)

In most cases, the condition is genetic (another thing to blame your parents for) BUT sometimes there may be a medical reason - it can be a sign of a hormonal imbalance with the male-type hormones (androgens/testerone) overpowering the female–type ones (estrogens). This imbalance may occur to some degree as women enter menopause (as in the second 1/2 of your forties).

About your husband…..get him a good trimmer and offer to help him : ) Take pictures! Ear and nose hair is controlled by male hormones. Aging men can get excessive ear and nose hair for the first time when their bodies start to produce less female hormones to balance the male ones. Men can easily grow 1cm of hair a month (about 1/2 inch), which means trimming is required.

So there you have it...all you needed or wanted to know about hair growth, even if I still don't understand the whole migration issue...

Perhaps on next weekend's long run I'll find someone who can explain it to me...

Hey! Congrats to everyone who ran this weekend including Irene and Penny who ran (and finished together) the Carlsbad 1/2 Marathon yesterday! It was a fabulous day for running and I can't wait to read their race reports

I know that many of you are living through an "udderly" ridiculous winter. I suggest a vacation. It's been beautiful here! !
Hospitality Point - Saturday morning...


  1. Betty says
    I've been waiting for this post! Miks mom is so brave for inviting us over, our lives are so great with Mik. And the hair conversation is hilarious! Elsie is the smartest person I know and my phone a friend also!

    Great job penny and Irene! I'm glad the weather for Carlsbad was perfect!

  2. I haven't laughed so much since benthic became a part of the herd vocabulary...thanks to Mik's mom for opening the door - and hope her sons will recover w/out needing therapy! Thanks Alice for capturing it all- Contests to Penny & Irene- it was the best running day in SoCal.

  3. LMFAO at this one! Now I've got another thing to worry about with this menopause crap-facial hair!!!

    BTW: have you or your "herd" ever had "Spotted Cow" beer??? Local brew here in WI. And if you ever need anything to do with me!!!

  4. As a brunette, I can say with certainty that facial hair sucks!

  5. LOL What a random post - I never thought I'd see a post with cows and hair discussed in one! ha!

  6. This post could NOT have been timed better. My eyebrows are still smarting, my upper lip is in pain and my bikini area - well don't think about it. I just had my first wax in 2 months and aaarggh. It used to just be an eyebrow tidy and a quick swish swish down under but now .. I look like Tom Selleck if I don't sort out the upper lip and the eyebrows grow like my front lawn in spring! As for my bikini area? Ugh. TMI but it's been dealt with. And I'm a blonde. I haven't checked out my back. Sheesh. To think that I used to think wrinkles were what I needed to worry about...

  7. Sounds like a wonderful birthday celebration! Too cool!

  8. I would love to "suffer" through your ridiculous winter.

  9. Happy Late Birthday Mik! I laughed so hard I cried...and now I need to go wipe my moustache dry!

  10. Uh...thanks? I have a thing about little hairs on people and the gym bathroom floor, remember? I think I'm going to gag right now, in fact.
    So I HOPE and PRAY that little drama chick-ee-dee is better because man-o-man I wish that NASTY FLU stuff on NO ONE! I hope you've carefully sequestered her in her room and are pushing her food under her door or at least wearing the medical face masks like they do in China. STAY WELL, you have more cows to milk and more beer to drink.
    I wish I had a mom like Mik, please show us her picture!!

  11. That sounds like some soiree Mik's mom put on. Wow.

    Before Run DMZ, I was asked to do a blog for RnR. One week I decided to write about having to go on a long run. Well, all of the sudden people starting to pop up with really hilarious comments. Just the other month, I was at a party and introduced to an RnR alum. First thing he said, "Hey, aren't you the woman who wrote about pooping?!"

  12. (And, as you can see, auto spell check fails me too. And often. :-)

  13. How cool is Mik's mom!

    This post had me doubled over! hilarious! The last two times I've been for a haircut (Supercuts) the stylist offered to trim my eyebrows. I couldn't help but funking I'm now officially an old man.

  14. Unwanted hair in unusual places ... another reason getting older SUCKS! :-)

    Funny (and informative) post, aka.