Wednesday, May 27, 2009

How Many Heffers Does it Take?

Question: How many Heffers does it take to change a flat tire?

Bonus Question: What if its TWO FLAT TIRES?

Answer: Four (well three...but one has to take pictures and add commentary)

Yep..on Monday on about Mile 12 of our 23 mile bike ride, I got not ONE but TWO effing flat the same effing time. (I'm THAT GOOD). I learned to not hit an effing crevice head on...

So, Betty told me that I should forgo the "boring" details of our ride, like that we rode from PB to Torrey Pines State Park and back in less than 2 hours riding time...but it took almost three hours total time due to the flat tire incident...that we tackled some pretty good hills (sea level to 450 ft above), that we decided to go to the restroom at the state park where Elsie famously ran into the PB (we were hoping to find them, this time, in the bushes) last time we ran there.

I could write about how on Sunday, I'd mentioned to Walter that at some point I probably needed to buy a patch kit, or learn how to deal with a flat because it was just a matter of time...

But I'll hold off on all that and just let the pictures do the talking

Before the flat, Clarence and I enjoyed the view of Sorrento Valley from the top of Torrey Pines. Thank God for father-in-law for setting her up with the patch kit, pump, and spare tube.

The restroom stop. Where's Elsie?

More restroom stop photos

We think this is the path where Elsie and the PB rendezvoused

Creative photography by Clarence...

Moments later, we decided to head back to PB...we'd gone only about 1/4 mile (or less) back on a REALLY CRAPPY ROAD and "pop...pop."

"Oh Shit." I said.

"That's not good," said Clarence.

So after about five minutes of us looking at each other saying...well, what should we do now? We decided to fix one tire with a spare tube that Clarence had, and try to patch the other...So, off the tires came.

Tire one is off...Betty is a master with the tools

On effing flat tire

There's your hole (yes, it get's worse from here)

Clarence looks for the other hole

The Pump from AkaAlice on Vimeo.

This is what makes it hard. You gotta listen to the video...

Mik asks me to check if it's hard enough yet

It was...

A nice biker who stopped to see if we needed help. We were having some issues getting the pump off the tire. She suggested we had to get rough with it. God I love bikers now...

Clarence, Mik, and Betty did all the work. Really, I just stood there the whole time taking pictures, adding color commentary, and being relatively useless.

More pumping to find the hole in Tire 2

Mik successfully patches a tire

The patch

Here's what I learned.

  1. I need to get a patch kit and a spare tube (or maybe two...but seriously, who gets TWO flat tires).
  2. I will always ride with my friends because I still have no idea how to change a tire since they did it all.
  3. Clarence's FIL is THE BEST!
  4. If you pump, it gets harder
  5. Water and air make it easier to find the hole


  1. This scares the crap outta me because I'm totally clueless on how to change a tire too! LOL I really need to find some biker friends around here to ride with that know what they're doing. Knock on wood, but i figure it's just a matter of time for me :) Love the pics.

  2. Ohhhh boy, this makes me think of all kinds of off-color remarks I could make... but won't.

    The pictures are too funny! I love the one with the biker who stopped to help. I can just picture you explaining to her that you wanted to take a pic with her for your blog. And she was still smiling!

    Who gets two flat tires? YOU.

    Funny post!

  3. Everything I need to know I've learned through blogs... When I get around to riding a bike again I've learned to ride with friends who know how to change tires... and, perhaps, have tire changing equipment...

    See you Sunday, somewhere!

  4. Um, I carry two tubes because I have had two flat tires. I have the smallest bag on the planet and you can totally cram them in there. Oh, and a boot or a dollar bill in case you slice the tire, you'll need to patch that too - just lay it on the inside. Ask for a boot at the bike shop, they won't think you're tarded;) Super cheap.

    Tires, always good times.

  5. "if you pump, it gets harder" that, surprised Missy let that one slip by!
    Another reason I like my hybrid, I may be a little slower than ya all, but I can over anything and not blow!
    At least, so far!

  6. Yes, I wouldn't ride without that crew!

  7. Okay. #'s 4 and 5 have me rolling on the floor! Hilarious!

    Are you going to be enjoying the festivities this weekend? I really wish I could be running. I know of a group of about 30 people from up here that are going to be there. Grrr...

    I hope the marine layer holds for them this year. I seem to remember the sun came out as I was making it down the 163 last year - about 2 hours into the race. The latter miles were hot, but frankly I don't remeber much except the pain!

  8. I just need to make it clear...NONE of us had ever changed a tire before. Well, Betty said she had when she was a kid. Mik, Clarence, and Betty just cleverly figured it out, while I stood there taking pix, and making jokes about hardness and holes :-))

  9. Mik asks me to check if it's hard enough yet ...


    I too was surprised Iron Oxide Missy let that one go by, but Diana scores on the rebound!

    Good job fixing those flats, sister! Hope you Heffers had a "stiff one" after all that work!!


    I am SUCH a dirty old dude!

  10. Oh my gosh, that is hilarious. Good thing you have pics and a video. ;)

  11. I recommend letting the air out of your tires at home.
    And then filling them up again with two good tubes!

    When you change a flat, you only have to take ONE side of the tire off, and just change that tube in and out!

  12. even after my "how to fix a flat" demo at the bike station I still can't get it right.
    good to travel in groups, collective effort helps.

  13. Thanks for reading about my *experience* last year. It was rather humbling....