Thursday, December 4, 2008

Midweekish Rant - Dontcha Hate???

Dontcha just hate when you go to the ladies room with a quarter in your pocket because you are desperately in need of a tampon and the only thing left in the stupid vending machine is a 25¢ maxi-pad (BTW–any dudes who read my blog really need to stop now. Know that you've been warned)?

I mean, who wears a pad anymore?

So, why do the vending machines in the ladies room carry them AT ALL?

Yet, when those are the only things left.

And you're desperate.

And you have no choice?.

You go ahead and buy the pad and use it... because the alternative is just...well let's just say it's not gonna happen...

Then later that day, you're going over to a friend's house, and you've torn through your purse, and your briefcase, and your desk, searching for that fugitive tampon, and the person who you share an office with is a MALE, and is therefore useless to your cause, and you've had meetings all through the day, so you haven't yet been able to go to a drug store, and you're still wearing the pad, but luckily you know you have tampons in your car, and you figure you'll stop somewhere on the way to your friend's house, but there's no place to stop between getting your car (which is at a parking lot near an airfield and you had to take a shuttle bus to get there) and your friend's house, so you end up at your friend's house and claim you really have to pee, but really you just have to change the pad to the tampon which you (luckily) had in the glove compartment of your car, but then you have no choice but to leave the used pad in your friend's guest-room bathroom's trash pail (very cute) in a HUGE WAD of toilet paper (sorry Mona).  

Anyway, you're completely embarrassed now because...I mean...who has to deposit a pad in a wastepaper basket at a friend's house? And you figure that Mona's completely HAWT, lifeguard hubby, is probably the one who empties the trash and you hope that he did not notice (WTF is THAT?) what was actually in said trash bin? And who TF even uses a pad anymore? Except for those who are REALLY desperate and who have to buy them for 25¢ from a restroom vending machine that is out of tampons?


Anyway, now, you've drunk several glasses of wine (including at least two at your friend's house, and several more at the wine-bar where you waited for 45 MINUTES for your dear husband to show up) and you're compelled to blog about your day, but all you can really think about is how you wore a pad all day, and left it in your friend's guest restroom (sorry Mona).

I soooooo need a good, long run this weekend!


  1. A rant I could once relate to, for sure. Here's my guess on the vending machines: pads are probably cheaper and can be used to hold more than youknowwhat. My grandmother uses them in an emergency when she runs out of Depends. Just my guess.

  2. Ahhh...I think every woman can relate to this one!

  3. HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA Oh my gawd that is hilarious!! I'm sorry chica! I've been there before as well. You know what's worse? Not having either option and having to stuff your undies with a HUGE wad of TP until you get home. Yeah not cool.

  4. OMG that is too funny. I agree with Marcy. That's even worse than having to wear a pad.

  5. hey don't knock the pads!!! Some of us have to wear them everytime we hang out with the HEFFERS or when playing things like soccer, volleyball or let's get tickled!

  6. Bwa ha ha ha...great rant. And seriously, those 25cent things are more like a kid's pamper.

    And how is that when you don't need a tampon, you have one in every single drawer at work, and 4 more in your glove compartment...

  7. Ooooh, just thought of one addition to the rant: why can you never find a tampon, until you're in a crowded elevator standing next to the cutest guy in the office and one rolls out of your purse and onto the floor?


    But be glad you didn't have to run with one! It can rub the wrong way, and then you "hurt".