Tuesday, August 26, 2008

The Belt

Blog stuff take your 8 ball & shake it alberta gets yelled at again mowing the lawn see Jim who did it in his speedo & 8 cases of playboy accupuncturd getting by stuck has it's advantages momma got the belt! B only 38 seconds for the snach not to mention the clean & jerk. Lots of wood here tonight.

What would you do with this?

This is the email I received from Elsie earlier this evening. Ya see, some of the herd went to dinner and a Padre's game to celebrate Momma's (our fearless heffer-leader's) birthday.

I didn't go with them because this is my first week at my new job and I'm completely overwhelmed with random stuff to do...I haven't even run since Sunday. Despite thinking I'd have tons of time to run and write and live the fabu-fabu life, I find that I've had very little time to do anything except for plan and get ready for the next class. I'm sure it'll all settle down at some point, but right now...not so much.

I'm determined to run in the morning. It'll be on the dread, and it'll be early...but I'll do it.

One observation about teaching at the CC.

Question: What's the difference between a high school senior and a community college student?

Answer: About three months...

Anyway...I get the email and a challenge...Betty tells me: "We're sending you blog stuff and we want you to make up a funny story for the blog."

A CHALLENGE? SERIOUSLY? I never back away from a challenge (I'm just a little bit competitive...although you'd never know it from my race times.)

But...I haven't run this week, so I don't really have anything to write about, AND I could use a nice distraction...so, here's my best shot...thank goodness there are photos to assist.
Looks like Betty has a good view doesn't it? I wonder if was in Trevor's leg lift where Betty saw saw lots of wood. I don't know what she was expecting. I have no doubt that as she was smiling for the camera, she was also thinking about her future as an Olympic athlete and whether or not she could beat the world record of 38 seconds in the snatch, not to mention the clean and jerk. She'd be good at both... (now where did you THINK I was going with that...you and your dirty minds).

Unfortunately, the Magic 8 Ball, with which she confers with on all major decisions replied "Outlook, not so good..." Sad...so very sad...

Later on in the evening, I have no doubt that Alberta was doing a bang-up job recruiting these two fine men, both of whom are named Jim, to join her in her new lawn mowing business. A lawn mowing business? This one is bound to be a success because the labor has to mow the lawn wearing a Speedo. She's promising them that the pay would be good. I hear that she offered them 8 cases of Playboy! Unfortunately, before she could close the deal, the game was starting and the rest of the herd wanted to get to their seats and started yelling at her to get her moooooooove on. Too bad, the Jims look really very enthusiastic about it.

Gosh, I need one more photo...Something to explain getting acupuncturd and how getting stuck has it advantages...

Hmmmmm...maybe I don't need to say anything about that...

Soooo... Happy Birthday Momma! Sorry I had to miss dinner and the game and I do have a belt for you too.

BTW Momma's current favorite math joke is "What did the zero say to the eight?"

Nice Belt

How'd I do?

6 comments:

  1. OMFG HAHAHAHAHAHHAHA I am DYING of laughter over that first pic! HAHAHHAAAA Is that her hand on his buns too? Ohhhhhhhhhhh Lord!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Those pics are great!! You're a great writer and yes, my mind was wondering with the Betty story :-)

    Get out there and run in the morning, it's a great way to start your day. I promise.

    You are going to LOVE the Nike Women's 1/2 marathon. You are SO lucky you got in, that lottery is tricky. I expect a full report as I used to live out there, near Michelle, in the same complex actually. The race only has one hill and you'll be fine based on your traiing logs. ENJOY!!

    ReplyDelete
  3. That was a good one! She said wood...I still laugh at that like a lil kid! i hope you got a rocking run in this morning.

    ReplyDelete
  4. That's certainly one way to connect some random dots. Kudos.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Love the first pic!

    I'm glad you explained it. When I read the first paragraph, I thought maybe you were drunk blogging!

    ReplyDelete